Ways of Giving Abandoned Children Back Their Confidence

To a very large extent, a person’s childhood experiences determine the kind of person they will one day become. Unfortunately, it’s not always possible to shield even the youngest from the imperfections of this world and those who live in it, meaning that the best foster parents can do is often to provide an environment in which traumatized children can heal and learn to cope with their memories.

The Nature of Trauma

It’s important for caregivers to understand that trauma is in the mind. This shouldn’t be taken to imply that its effects aren’t real, or that it can be cured just by thinking happy thoughts.

What’s meant, rather, is that being traumatized is an internal condition and its effects are heavily dependent on the way external events are perceived. What is highly traumatic to one child may be brushed off by another, while adults shouldn’t imagine that they can determine what should or shouldn’t trigger a fear response in a much younger person. Being abandoned by a mother, for instance, effectively means that a child’s entire world has fallen apart, even when that mother was neglectful or abusive.

Building Trust

Perhaps the most damaging consequence of trauma inflicted on a child is that they may lose faith in all adult figures. This is certainly natural, even rational given what they know about the world, but constitutes a mental stumbling block which may take years to overcome. Adults often equate a lack of trust in them as disrespect for their authority, which is not only harmful but highly unfair.

While displaying affection is one way of showing that you can be relied upon, consistency is much more important. A stable environment and defined routines are helpful in this regard, as is allowing the child to make some choices of their own and recognizing the validity of these.

Dealing With Behavioral Problems

Most foster parents, quite naturally, consider things like lying or angry outbursts as problems to be rectified. With traumatized children, though, this is a completely facile attitude to take.

The defining feature of trauma is anxiety, whether acute or constant. The triggers for this may be difficult to identify, and it may manifest as over-friendliness, withdrawal, or anything else on the fight/flight spectrum of responses. Blaming the child for these kinds of behaviors is in no way helpful.

Instead, be patient and avoid any sign of aggression on your part, including raising your voice, looking at the child for too long at a stretch or invading their personal space. Overcoming trauma often takes years and is nearly impossible without some kind of support. In many cases, enlisting the help of a child psychologist will not only be helpful but essential. Nobody has ever said that foster parenting is easy – hopefully, the rewards will be great enough to compensate for the sacrifices.

Child Abandonment Is Inevitable When Families Earn Minimum Wage

Aside from addiction and major psychological problems, one of the greatest contributing factors to child abandonment is financial stress. This is not just a localized, occasional issue, but is actually deeply embedded in the American economic system.

Poverty In the First World

In less developed societies, understanding what poverty means is fairly simple: if a family often goes hungry or doesn’t have a reliable roof over their heads, they are impoverished.

In richer countries, poverty (including extreme poverty) still exists, but is usually more nuanced in nature. Although several definitions for First World poverty are possible, let’s focus on two factors for this article: financial security and freedom of action. Oversimplifying the issue a little bit, we can visualize a household’s status on two axes as follows:

Someone with savings is automatically secure (quadrants B and D), at least for a while, while having a high income to boot (quadrant B) allows them to spend their time as they choose, whether on recreation, self-improvement or by serving their communities. Most people would say that nobody with a decent job (quadrant A) can really be said to be living in poverty…and to some extent, they are right.

The trick here is that many families, particularly those with children, carry high levels of debt and may even have negative equity:

Statistic: Share of families with debt in the United States from 2007 to 2016, by family structure | Statista
Find more statistics at Statista

For poorer families in particular, this debt is often taken on involuntarily rather than to finance discretionary capital purchases. Trying to save up for a rainy day is a pipe dream under these circumstances, and a change in interest rates, illness, the loss of a job or even an arbitrary decision by the bank can quickly move them from quadrant A to C. In other words, they may be able to afford a car, a reasonably nice apartment and the best espresso machine money can buy, but they are still at risk financially and can lose everything at a stroke. This may be accompanied by becoming homeless and even having to give up their children.

Rising Out of Poverty

A typical knee-jerk response from the financially secure, when hearing about parents (especially single parents) struggling to pay the bills, is that they should simply work harder. In a minority of cases, this advice is justified, but often enough it is no more than the equivalent of telling a one-legged man to keep up by hopping faster.

Working more hours at a minimum-wage job will have, at best, a marginal effect on a family’s level of prosperity. At the same time, doing so has a major effect on a parent’s freedom of action as mentioned above, definitely including their ability to plan for the future.

Spending more time and energy on earning money removes opportunities to pursue education – the only truly viable way to escape the poverty trap – or spend time with children, which in itself is a social good. Taking a second job may even involve additional expenses such as transport and paid childcare. If this is taken to extremes, as some single parents have no choice but to do, they run the risk of being called bad parents by those with the freedom to prepare and eat meals at home, help with homework and start college funds.

The View From the Bottom

Partly as a result of technological changes, the gap between high and low earners continues to widen. Even though society as a whole seems to be doing better, the most vulnerable families continue to fall further behind:

Statistic: U.S. household income distribution from 1990 to 2016 (by Gini-coefficient) | Statista
Find more statistics at Statista

It’s no secret that the minimum wage is something of a farce. In a survey of the 100 largest cities in America, website GoBankingRates found that only 13 of them placed a one-bedroom apartment within the reach of someone who works for minimum wage 40 hours a week, 52 weeks a year.

Even in a dual-income household, trying to raise children on such a budget is a nightmare. Government aid such as food stamps help, but don’t quite do enough. In some cases, parents have to carefully weigh the relative advantages of working or living off unemployment benefits and getting Medicaid.

Yet, whenever this issue is raised in the media, the consensus seems to be that poor people, including parents, should simply economize further and find a second or third job. This means that such workers are effectively at the mercy of their employers and often have to work 70 hours a week or more just to get by – a situation which might as well be called slavery.

Fixing the Issue

Clearly, the labor market is untenable for those without valuable skills or rich parents, and this inevitably means that the same problems are going to be passed along to their children.

The fundamental dilemma is that some members of society simply can’t contribute as much, economically speaking, as others. Graduate specialists not only earn more, but face less competition for jobs. This is no more than unfettered supply and demand, sometimes referred to as the American Way by politicians who show more sympathy for corporations than low-income families.

Even they, however, will stop short of saying that record shareholder dividends accompanied by mothers giving up babies they can’t afford to raise is very American – in actual fact, it is uniquely so among developed Western nations. How this situation can be resolved before a large portion of society implodes is open for debate, but that something has to be done soon is beyond question.

Why Child Abandonment Exists – Not Always a Bad Thing

Although a common knee-jerk reaction, simply laying all blame at the door of a mother who abandons her children is at best disingenuous and at worst poisonous. The

truth is that some women who get pregnant are simply not capable of raising a child due to any of a number of reasons: still being a child herself, addiction or mental

health issues, being totally indigent. In circumstances such as these, giving the child up may be the kindest option, and in many cases society as a whole is not

blameless for the situation arising in the first place. Yet the mother will often be ostracized and blamed for the position she found herself in, without any thought given to how she got there.

Simply put, children are often abandoned when there is no better option available. This is usually a literal last resort, but still better than infanticide or trying

to raise a baby in an unsuitable environment.

It’s a well-known fact that unhappy childhoods tend to run in families. There are also several measures that can be taken to ameliorate this tendency: improved public

mental health programs, abandoning the ridiculous War on Drugs for a more rational policy, and offering more

comprehensive services at school level. Until this important topic becomes part of the public discourse, though, nothing is likely to change except for the worse.

The Past and Future of Orphanages

The attitude of most societies to orphans, including those with living but incapable parents, can best be described as “out of sight, out of mind”. As in many cases,

there is little political incentive to spend money today to prevent far greater expense later

– on jails, policing and the damage crime causes, the results of unemployment and individuals failing to truly enter society, under-education and, indeed, a new

generation of teenage mothers.

In most of the developed world, orphanages have mostly disappeared after it was finally realized that the level of care (or rather, lack of care) they provided was

completely inadequate to childrearing. Those that remain are mostly small, privately-run religious institutions or devoted to children with specific behavioral


The focus has instead shifted to supporting at-risk families, both financially and in other ways. While the results have generally been good, such programs continue to

be underfunded, with “welfare queens” often serving as a rhetorical target for a certain kind of politician.

Foster Care and Adoption

Somewhat absurdly, the criteria adoptive parents (outside of direct family members) have to meet and the process they have to go through remain extremely demanding,

while any couple able to have sex can procreate without restriction.

In the best case (in respect of long-term outcomes), abandoned children are

permanently settled with relatives, as happens about a quarter of the time. In the worst, they are subjected to “permanent temporary foster care”, where they are

rotated between different families without any opportunity to form a sense of security and attachment.

Despite a generally high level of success, one of the weaknesses of this system is that it tries to address specific, unique problems with a centralized governing

body. Much of the actual responsibility for providing care is shuffled off onto volunteers, who are nominally reimbursed for their expenses.

Sometimes, small efforts (or the lack of them) have tremendous consequences. There’s space for a lot more to be done in terms of training, access to counseling, and

special arrangements for children with physical or mental disabilities.

Reverse Abandonment

Websites like Human Paragon discuss the destiny of humanity mainly in terms of social and technological change,

but there is a common strand running through this and related philosophies: liberty. We should, it is argued, be free to alter our bodies at will, reach our full

potential in every sense and live life with only a minimum of interference.

In some cases, this implies upsetting certain social and familial arrangements most people will think of as inevitable. Of course, “the natural order of things” is a

mutable concept even in biology, and modern society actually has very little in common with a pre-industrial one.

In particular, parents are exposed to less community scrutiny, while the effects of neglect and abuse that fall short of a criminal act are increasingly being recognized. However, at present, someone

below the age of majority who finds themselves in an untenable situation has few options aside from phoning the police (which may be totally ineffective) or seeking

legal emancipation (which requires them to instantly become completely independent, including financially). Arguably, a great deal of harm can be prevented by allowing

them another, less drastic way to escape ongoing harm.

Everybody’s Concern

When it comes to the protection of the vulnerable and voiceless members of our community, people are absurdly fond of trite sayings like “It takes a village”. Tut-

tutting and complaining, unfortunately, do little to solve the problem. Most of us have known people whose childhood experiences – whether abandonment, neglect or

outright abuse – contributed to various problems for both themselves and those around them. Claiming that this important issue is the responsibility of the state and

leaving it at that is absurd when the full scope of this dilemma is considered.

Gardening: A Panacea for Parents and Children Bonding

First of all, let’s put it out in the open: in an era of iPads, smart phones, and fake news, the threat of child abandonment becomes a very real threat that seeks to tear apart the most basic unit of society – the family.

Without getting into too much of a rant here, and without underestimating the impact of the word “abandonment”, for that matter, the fact is that it’s easier than ever to neglect a child and thus stunt his or her emotional development in today’s world.

And yes, that is tantamount to abandoning a child at his or her most vulnerable stage, and pretty much conceding the very important responsibility of parenting to devices that have no value apart from amusement and gaming (at least in this situation). It’s a culture driven by impatience, and nursed with technology – and which children are being exposed to at a very young age.

This is precisely why it is important for parents to invest in activities that strengthen their emotional ties with their children, and limit their child’s usage of smart phones and tablet PCs to a minimum – because the hazards ARE real and not without consequences that can become very real problems in a few years’ time.

All you need to look at is the number of families that are broken, and the number of wayward children that this culture has produced.

And that brings us to our next point – finding a shared experience for fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, or parents and children, for that matter: a bonding experience called gardening.

You may have heard of the significance of a mother-daughter bonding experience. Relationships between mothers and their daughters are often tempestuous and complicated. Therefore, mother-daughter bonding activities are supposed to help forge a meaningful and worthwhile connection. Although various activities can help cement the bond between a mom and her daughter, gardening is by far one of the best activities out there. Here are 8 reasons why gardening is the perfect mother-daughter bonding experience.

1. A Shared Return To Nature

In this busy contemporary world, a mother-daughter relationship may be overshadowed by the fast pace and busy lifestyles. Gardening allows you to return to nature and make a connection with it. This helps both mom and daughter to access the most important parts of their humanity.

2. Gardening Builds Character

Actively engaging in a gardening project allows learning to occur, which helps to improve the attitudes of both mom and daughter to positively affect the relationship. Human beings are hardwired to care for things, and gardening allows this to happen.

3. Gardening Is Fun And Enjoyable

Gardening is a unique bonding activity in that it is directly connected to our daily need to stay well fed and healthy. The knowledge gained from a gardening experience is powerful, and it opens up a mother and daughter pair for more bonding activities.

4. Gardening Creates A Safe Environment For Failure

When individuals fail at gardening, they cannot rectify the situation unless they are willing to try the process again. The same lesson can be carried over to a mother and daughter relationship, and it teaches the art of resilience.

5. Gardening Is An Inexpensive Hobby

Compared to buying gadgets that fall into disuse every year, indeed. Gardening does not require much other than soil, favorable weather conditions and inexpensive gear. It is an activity that can be carried on well into the later years of life, ensuring that the bond between mother and daughter lasts for a lifetime. For families who can afford to do so, investing in a system that can automatically irrigate your garden can be very valuable, as it frees up more time for bonding experiences.

6. Gardening Fosters Positive Interpersonal Skills

Mom and daughter pairs that engage in gardening experience an improved relationship owing to the enhanced interpersonal skills and an improved understanding of the self and others. This is acquired from working cooperatively.

7. Gardening Encourages Healthy Eating

The knowledge gained while gardening helps to improve nutrition. Gardening encourages both mother and daughter to develop skills that can allow them to grow their own fruits, spices, and vegetables.

8. Gardening Heightens The Senses

Activities involving nature enhance the senses because human beings are not wired to stay away from nature for too long. Spending more time outdoors together allows mothers and daughter to become open to the process and it also releases the human body’s natural urge for creativity.

5 Reasons Why Mothers and Daughters Engaging in Gardening Can Improve the Bond between Them

As a mother, maintaining a healthy relationship with your daughter is important, although it can be quite challenging. No matter what the existing status of your relationship is, it is critical for mothers and daughter to find common ground that allows them to interact and confide in one another. The mother and daughter dynamic is a complex one, which is why it requires a lot of care and consideration to ensure that the relationship is beneficial to both parties.

As a way to sustain the bond, mothers, and daughters are often encouraged to participate in a common activity that can improve the connection and the communication in the relationship. One such activity is gardening. Gardening together is one way to engage in a fun activity that is inexpensive and stress-free. Gardening also has added benefits to one’s mental and physical strengths. Lastly, this provides an outlet wherein a mother can involve herself in the child’s life, and reducing the pain of emotional abandonment – whose scars don’t show up until too late.

That being said, gardening is a great bonding tool. Sure, investing in gardening equipment or lighting that helps illuminating plants at home cost money, but these are investments to a more important thing – your relationship with your children.

Interact, Interact, And Interact

Gardening together allows mothers and daughters to connect and interact with each other. There is always room for improvement when it comes to mother-daughter relationships. One way to improve a bond is by finding a common activity that allows you to spend time together. While gardening, both mother, and daughter are in each other’s presence, which can be comforting and encouraging.

Improving That All-Important Emotional Bond And Connection

When mothers and daughters participate in active activities such as gardening, they feel connected to the other person, which goes a long way in strengthening the bond between them. Activities such as going to the spa or watching a movie are fine every so often, but they are harder to establish a bond because they do not require one to be present or have a frank discussion.

Improve Mental, Physical, And Spiritual Health

When both mother and daughter are healthy, they are happier and less stressed. One of the many benefits of gardening is that it has a positive effect on one’s health as it improves one’s mental state and it also involves some kind of movement or exercise, which is always beneficial.

Build, Maintain, And Deploy Communication Lines

Gardening together can help improve the connection, therefore allowing free and open communication, which enhances the bond between moms and their daughters. It also allows both mom and daughter to learn new things about one another which can improve the level of trust between them.

Paying It Forward

By gardening together, both mother and daughter are participating in an activity that takes care of the environment, which improves one’s spirit and creates a cycle of good deeds in the mother-daughter relationship.

A Parent’s Culpability in Benign Neglect: Are We Totally Absorbed with Our Mobile Devices?

The rise of the Internet of Things and smartphones and other mobile devices and advanced technologies have made our lives so much easier – much easier than any of our ancestors had it. Imagine the ways smart devices have made things so much easier – you can practically run your home while you’re at work with your iPhone. You can control the temperature in your house, you can adjust the lighting, hell, you can even cook a turkey while you’re away. For as long as you are connected – and there isn’t any reason why you shouldn’t be ready to always connect to your network – and for as long as you have the appropriate application, you can do everything.

But this overreliance on smart devices does have its drawbacks – because it’s no secret that we have let them pretty much do the hard work of PARENTING to them. Think of it – how often have you consoled and entertained a tantruming toddler with your iPad? And how often have you seen the toddlers make even increasingly intense tantrums when you take said iPad from their grasp? We’ve seen it far too many times. According to psychologists, the effect is the same as addiction to alcohol and gambling – and that at a VERY early age.

And this style of parenting, according to the same psychologists, is tantamount to benign neglect – which has very real far-ranging circumstances for toddlers: one of which is the delayed development of communication skills and an even shorter attention span. It’s undoubtably a concern that this early addiction to such devices and such entertainment, both for parents and for their children, needs to be addressed – the case for more discipline in the consumption of entertainment for both should be examined.

While we cannot completely take them out of our routine as they have been way too entrenched into our lifestyles, we COULD do something about the way we use them – after all, even Steve Jobs didn’t let his children use iPads, even when it first hit the stores. There isn’t any reason why you shouldn’t also limit your childrens’ (and YOUR) usage, too.

Here are three quick and easy ways you could start addressing this concern for your children.

1. Set Household Rules For Them – And For Yourself

Don’t fall to the “do as I say, not as I do” trap – limit your children’s use, but also limit yours. For instance, establish a routine that allows you and your child to do things together, such as arts and crafts, sports, or going outdoors.

2. It’S Okay If They’Re Not Abreast Of The Latest Entertainment

The temptation of “not leaving your child out of what’s the lateset trend” can be overwhelming, but resist this urge – no child became happier because they knew all the characters in Pokemon. I know I didn’t back in the 90s, and I know the same is true now – there will always be a way kids will find to entertain themselves.

3. Download Usage Apps

This is the drastic solution – there are usage apps that will force you and your child to limit your usage of your phone – forcing you to only use them when absolutely necessary.

If there’s a will, there’s a way – don’t be the parent who neglects his child in a benign way – it’s like handicapping him through a thousand cuts.

Understanding the Scars Left When Children are Left Behind

The western world has been at the brunt of a sustained attack on the basic unit of society – that of the nuclear family. This has manifested itself in dysfunctional families, dysfunctional lives, and dysfunctional childhoods: all of which result in serious and potentially far-ranging circumstances for everyone involved.

This sense of abandonment, whether physical, emotional, or psychological, creates an internal environment of fear due to the lack of support or protection in these three aspects. And from this fear grows a sense of shame – the shame of being worthless, the shame of being put up for adoption, and the shame of not being wanted around.

Young children need to be taken care of and be afforded comfort and safety. The moment care and safety are taken away from them means they will eventually suffer from a combination of thinking that the world is unsafe for them to be in (which may or may not be a bad idea), and that people cannot be trusted (which arguably is a valuable life lesson), and that they are not deserving of others’ time, care, and love.

This poses a Pandora’s Box of psychological issues that can and will haunt them throughout their childhood, adolescence, and eventual adulthood.

Let’s understand and find out how this pain manifests and persists throughout life.

Low Self-Opinion…And Low Self-Esteem.

Abandonment during childhood and the formative stages has far-ranging consequences on that child’s present and future self – we’ve all seen this too often, for instance, with parents who expect their children to follow the same path as they have, and expect them to be mirror images of what they were growing up. This occurs when a child’s coping mechanisms are unable to do so in the face of traumatic or otherwise painful or stressful situations, leading to a host of other symptoms as we will find out.

Emotional Coldness.

A common symptom of a child with abandonment issues is that of their unwillingness, or downright fear of sharing his or her emotions – again stemming from the fact that their self-estem and self-opinions are low. They’re probably thinking to themselves that no one really cares about their feelings because they do not matter. And this leads to them bottling up their emotions, and deeply mistrusting anybody they are dying to share their true selves with, even when there is nothing at all to fear.

It means all the world for them to know that you, as a parent or as a guardian, love them unconditionally regardless of how bad he or she is feeling. Let them know you are proud of him or her, and be trustworthy of what they share with you. Always make sure that you take the time out, or rather make the time, and foster an environment of trust wherein he or she can feel comfortable about him or herself, and thusly share and express their true selves. Set aside an hour of your time over a nice glass of juice and just being totally open to him or her (test reports prove that juicing provides a sense of well-being and happiness, so you’ll catch two birds with one stone).

It makes a world of difference when you foster this environment that enables your child to share his innermost feelings and himself at his most open; you owe him or her no less than that as a guardian.

Fast And Frequent Flights Of Anxiety.

Attacks of anxiety can manifest in a child’s future self – especially if they grew up with the knowledge that they were in fact abandoned by their parents or their caregivers. Regardless of whether they were adopted by caring and loving families or couples, children could still be reeling from the sense of shame and guilt and low self-esteem, which will then translate into anxiety in all shapes and sizes – and can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder especially if the trauma is very intense.

Reasons why an Abandoned Child Needs to Undergo Treatment and Therapy

As you enjoy your weekend in your living room with your Dehumidifier Web recommended dehumidifier set to just the right levels for a relaxing and comfortable day (see http://www.dehumidifierweb.com/), does the thought of how other people spend their days off ever cross your mind? Did you know that there are kids out there who do not have as much fun as you do because they have been abandoned by their parents?

Being left behind by adults who are supposed to love, raise, and protect you can result to devastating effects physically, mentally, and emotionally. That is why children who have been abandoned need to undergo treatment and therapy to help them get on the right track and live happy, normal lives.

For their self-esteem

If your mother, father, or both left you, it is so hard to not think that there is something wrong with you. Why would they leave you behind if there is something special about you? Are you not worth loving and caring for?

Having no parents around really takes a big hit to your self-esteem. You start believing that you are not of any value to anyone, as the people who should be raising you have bolted off and abandoned you. Fortunately, if you go through therapy and treatment, these personal issues of yours can be addressed, and you can develop a better understanding of the situation and realize that you did nothing wrong.

To manage their depression and anxiety

As a result of the circumstances, abandoned children become depressed and anxious. They have a difficult time seeing their daily lives as something to look forward to. They struggle to see the positive side of things, and they tend to only focus on the gloom and doom. They think that they are worthless, and they choose to isolate themselves. They feel unwanted. All of these things hinder them from living a normal, regular life.

With therapy and treatment, they get the opportunity to sort these issues out and slowly work on how they perceive their situation and look at the bright side of things.

To work on their intimacy and attachment issues

Creating new relationships can be extremely hard for people with abandonment issues. They are scared that anyone they start a relationship with would just pack their bags and get out of the door any moment. They are terrified of getting close with someone, and they would rather be alone and isolated to not feel more pain. They think shutting everyone out is a good way to protect their feelings.

A good therapist and effective treatment method should be able to enlighten them that taking it slow when meeting new people and starting friendships could help them get through life.

The Trauma and Negative Effects of Being Abandoned as a Child

Not a lot of us are aware of how difficult the lives that so many people around the world have. As you go on with your every day routine of waking up in the morning, preparing a breakfast of toast using a bread knife you saw on http://www.cutitfine.com/ (which by the way makes a big difference, as other brands are not as good at slicing and dicing), there are millions that do not enjoy the luxury that you have right now, children that have been abandoned and wandering aimlessly, trying to make it one day at a time.

In the United States, the number of child abandonment cases continues to increase each year, leaving us with more young ones who may suffer the intense and detrimental effects of being left behind, such as the following:

Anxiety issues

Growing up without a strong and reliable adult to look up to and who guides you can affect how you deal with other people. Because you are left to your own devices at such an early age, you get used to doing stuff on your own. And so, if a caregiver or a foster family enters your life, you become unsure of how to react, as it is something new to you. Even if you are lucky to get adopted by a great and loving family, warming up to them may take a very long time. Anxiety symptoms, such as difficulty sleeping, panic attacks, and so on, may still manifest, and may be difficult to overcome until you seek professional treatment.

Low self-esteem

How would you feel if the people who are supposed to care for you, to be there for you, and love you just leave you all alone? Being abandoned is a painful experience that will cause you to question your self-worth. You will wonder if there is something wrong with you. You will start to think that it is your fault because you do not have the qualities that your parents want in a child. As you grow older, this thought becomes stronger, and it can seriously damage how you see yourself and how you interact with others.


Creating bonds and relationships with other people will be challenging. As an abandoned child, it can be difficult to put your trust on anyone, as your parents, the people who should have been there for you all this time, have disappeared. In order to prevent getting hurt, you build a wall that pushes away even those that genuinely want to be close to you. You prefer to isolate yourself, instead of risking being rejected or abandoned again.

How Abandonment Affects a Child Mentally, Emotionally, and Psychologically

As you spend your day off relaxing and unwinding, with the use of your newly purchased aroma oil diffuser that is perfect to spread the oils into the air to create a therapeutic effect, there is a large number of kids worldwide that are not so lucky as you are. Child abandonment is a serious problem that has left these precious human beings damaged, tortured, and tainted, very likely, for the rest of their lives.

Low self-esteem

Whether you are a child or an adult, being abandoned can do a lot of damage to your self-worth. You feel that there is nothing about you that is worth staying for, and that makes you think that you are alone and no one will ever find a reason to be with you. If a child experiences this, he or she will grow up having difficulty relating to other people, especially once they meet potential romantic partners.


Anxiety comes in different forms. An abandoned child may have trouble interacting with people around him or her, suffer from sleeping issues, and others. Because they grew up not having a parent looking after them, the presence of others who will try to supervise or guide them might make them feel uncomfortable and react to them unfavorably.


Because they did not have a family growing up, abandoned children may have issues creating long-lasting bonds with anyone they meet. They are very likely to not respond when being talked to, refuse to participate in different activities, and just appear cold, indifferent, and uncaring. As a result of this, they will struggle to build relationships. They tend to do this to avoid getting hurt again, if these new people leave them behind, just like what their parents did.

Trust issues

If you are a kid, you are made to believe that your parents are supposed to be the people that will love you unconditionally. But, what happens if they take off and leave you all by yourself? Being abandoned will definitely create a large, gaping hole in your entire being. Because you are young, with barely any life experience, you will be confused and wonder what you did wrong. Most of the time, you and those other abandoned kids did nothing wrong. But that fact will not change how you will feel after being neglected by your own mother and/or father. As a result, you will become a person who will find it quite difficult to trust others. Any new individual that you will meet, you will see as a temporary piece in your life that will come and go. So, creating long-term, loving, and genuine relationships will really be tough and challenging.

Examining the Ins and Outs of Steam Cleaning

Cleaning with steam has become a more and more frequent practice among households everywhere; whether you live alone, or you live with children and pets, steam cleaning, and consequently, steam cleaners, have become more and more of staples in modern living.

However, steam cleaning isn’t a totally revolutionary new concept in terms of cleaning; it’s always been around. We’ve had steam laundries around for as long as we can remember; we’ve had cleaning service providers that offer the same service for home and business. It’s only now in the present day, after the last century’s economic highs, that appliances allowing homeowners of all kinds to use steam cleaners they can actually take home.

Steam cleaners have since become all the rage, especially with the development of newer, more efficient and eco-friendly models that can actually make a difference in their users’ balance sheets.

Let’s take a look at just how steam cleaners can help you, and whether they are right for your situation; by no means is this an exhaustive discussion as everybody’s circumstances differ, but it’s an excellent starting point.

The Pros and Cons of Steam Cleaning

It’s not surprising why people have dubbed steam cleaners as a must-have item around the house, regardless of whether it is one with a vacuum attachment, or one that runs on a tank. The main argument for using a steam cleaner is that they are powerful yet efficient machines for cleaning; another argument is that they do not need detergents or any other cleaning agents. Steam neutralizes and dissolves any coarse particles of dirt it encounters, while the heat that the steam generates is sufficient enough to kill allergens, bacteria, mold, and any other foreign pathogens that get into surfaces.

Furthermore, operating these machines do not require any training (or a master’s degree). All that needs doing is to fill up a tank with water. Even the obligatory elbow grease that comes with using a conventional vacuum cleaner or a similar appliance is gone; you just let the steam do its magic.

The main concern that most people have with regard to steam cleaners is what seems to be the exorbitant costs of the devices themselves; another important concern is the fact that there are surfaces and materials that steam just cannot clean.

When is the Right Time to Clean with Steam?

So, with all things being considered, when could you use a steam cleaner? The short answer is almost any surface that you can use for flooring. Nothing works better than steaming a ceramic or terracotta surface; this goes for bathrooms, kitchens, and showers. Steam cleaners get into the spaces between tiles that can be a headache to get rid of. The same is true for your metallic surfaces such as sinks and ovens. Caution should be taken however for cleaning surfaces such as parquet floors or carpets; when choosing a steam cleaner, make sure that they clean such surfaces on the label. As for fabrics, cotton and linen are safe to clean with steam, but extra caution should be taken when attempting to clean more intricate fabrics such as silk.

The Verdict

All in all, buying a steam cleaner, especially for those who live with children and/or pets, is definitely a recommended option. Though they retail for rather expensive prices compared to conventional appliances, they will repay you many times over for being able to clean surfaces that most other cleaners couldn’t. Besides, nobody ever thinks about buying a steam cleaner for an investment; it’s not as if their prices will rise depending in years to come. You can instead choose to view them as you would cars: they do depreciate greatly after a couple of years, but think of the convenience that you will experience by not having to always call in specialists, or waste hours researching and using elbow grease to clean something that a steam cleaner handily does, and therefore freeing you up to pursue more pleasurable activities.

Understanding the Physical and Psychological Impacts of Abandonment to a Child

For children to grow strong and healthy, they need the supervision of their parents or guardians. Unfortunately, not all kids get to enjoy the love and affection of such figures. Sometimes, things happen that leave these children all on their own, hurt and damaged.


Abandonment child syndrome is a type of psychological condition on children that stems from either an abusive household or loss (or absence) of one of both parents. When these events happen to children, something has to be done as soon as possible to minimize the intensity of pain and distress that come with them.


Abandonment can either be physical or psychological. In physical abandonment, one or both parents fail to give the necessary guidance their children need. They are not able to provide clothing, shelter, or housing to make their lives comfortable. They neglect to prepare nutritious meals to boost their children’s growth and development. They hit, punch, or cause physical pain to their kids and lead to mild to severe injuries. In psychological abandonment, one or both parents engage in verbal abuse that seriously messes up their kids’ perception of the world. They tend to be narcissistic, closed-minded, and troubled themselves, and they are blind to their children’s needs.


Children who have abandonment issues manifest various mental and physical symptoms. They start to prefer isolation, removing themselves from all sorts of social activities and gatherings. They show dislike of being invited to join groups and resist others’ affections. They believe that everything is their fault, that there is something wrong with them, and that is why they are in this situation. They develop eating disorders, which usually begin as a loss of appetite that may eventually result to starvation and malnutrition. They have trouble sleeping, and the few hours of sleep that they get are frequently riddled with nightmares. They also are very likely to end up as drug addicts and alcoholics as they find ways to cope with their grief, anger, and depression.


Children with abandonment problems can seek treatment, typically in the form of therapy. A professional therapist should be able to help the children address their issues in a non-destructive manner. There are many different ways to go about with therapy, and the best method to use depends on every child. There are mental examinations and exercises that can be performed to improve the kids’ cognitive state. There are also physical exercises, such as walking and running outdoors or on a Treadmill Trends reviewed treadmill machine (check out the site here: http://www.treadmilltrends.com/) to lessen the impact of depression and other mental disorders that the kids may have. If done at the soonest, it is not impossible to give the children another opportunity at life.

Characteristics of People Suffering From Feelings of Abandonment

Children who have experienced abuse (whether physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional) or have lost one or both of their parents are very likely to grow up as adults with abandonment issues. To know whether someone you know may be dealing with this trauma, here are some common signs to watch out for:


Because they did not have a dependable and loving adult presence around during their formative years, children who have been abandoned tend to feel insecure about themselves. They think they are inferior to their peers, and are always nervous and uneasy. They have a negative perception of themselves, and they have a hard time building up their self-esteem and ego.


Having to deal with day-to-day situations on their own can lead to any child’s feelings of isolation. If they have been abused, they may believe that they are all on their own, that they cannot rely on anyone to save them. They prefer moments of solitude, avoiding spending time with other people. They do not put effort into connecting and building relationships with other people, as they deem these activities to be a complete waste of time. They are depressed, helpless, lonely, and anxious.

Emotional detachment

Due to their abnormal upbringing, children with abandonment issues are prone to become emotionally detached. They are unable to make connections with other people on an emotional level. They always have a tall wall put up to not allow anyone in. They usually come across as indifferent, stoic, numb, and uncaring. There is very little or zero chance of them showing any kind of reaction to various situations, whether positive, such as getting promoted at work, or negative, such as when a relationship ends.

Self-destructive behavior

Despite being aware of how certain actions can lead to serious damage and harm, people with abandonment issues will ignore the facts and push away people who want to help them. Even before they take on a task, their minds are already made up that they are going to fail. They have a defeated, pessimistic, and cynical outlook, and they are deaf to encouragement and support. They are likely to self-harm, and fall victims to alcohol and drug abuse.

How you can help

If you encounter someone who exhibits these signs, you can reach out to them and advise them to see a professional. There are several therapy treatments that can help overcome abandonment issues. Sessions vary and may occur in an office with chairs made from good quality materials and are ergonomic (because fabric and back height matters for utmost comfort and quality), or in a trauma center with more facilities and equipment to allow efficient residential and in-care treatment programs.