Children who have experienced abuse (whether physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional) or have lost one or both of their parents are very likely to grow up as adults with abandonment issues. To know whether someone you know may be dealing with this trauma, here are some common signs to watch out for:
Because they did not have a dependable and loving adult presence around during their formative years, children who have been abandoned tend to feel insecure about themselves. They think they are inferior to their peers, and are always nervous and uneasy. They have a negative perception of themselves, and they have a hard time building up their self-esteem and ego.
Having to deal with day-to-day situations on their own can lead to any child’s feelings of isolation. If they have been abused, they may believe that they are all on their own, that they cannot rely on anyone to save them. They prefer moments of solitude, avoiding spending time with other people. They do not put effort into connecting and building relationships with other people, as they deem these activities to be a complete waste of time. They are depressed, helpless, lonely, and anxious.
Due to their abnormal upbringing, children with abandonment issues are prone to become emotionally detached. They are unable to make connections with other people on an emotional level. They always have a tall wall put up to not allow anyone in. They usually come across as indifferent, stoic, numb, and uncaring. There is very little or zero chance of them showing any kind of reaction to various situations, whether positive, such as getting promoted at work, or negative, such as when a relationship ends.
Despite being aware of how certain actions can lead to serious damage and harm, people with abandonment issues will ignore the facts and push away people who want to help them. Even before they take on a task, their minds are already made up that they are going to fail. They have a defeated, pessimistic, and cynical outlook, and they are deaf to encouragement and support. They are likely to self-harm, and fall victims to alcohol and drug abuse.
How you can help
If you encounter someone who exhibits these signs, you can reach out to them and advise them to see a professional. There are several therapy treatments that can help overcome abandonment issues. Sessions vary and may occur in an office with chairs made from good quality materials and are ergonomic (because fabric and back height matters for utmost comfort and quality), or in a trauma center with more facilities and equipment to allow efficient residential and in-care treatment programs.